Roy : Wh…Why are you asking me this ?! *blush*
[ You perverted people Dx]
oh my gosh
#like what if greed and ling went on a road trip #like a modern au roadtrip to get to ed and winrys wedding #in the back are al and may and lanfan and fu #al and may who have been living together and has to get back to the wedding in time to be ed’s best man #and lanfan who refuses to admit that these two asses are her hot anime boyfriends #and fu who is just like wow this is unfortunate #and ling and greed are arguing over how to get to ed and winry’s place #and greed is like LETS JUST LET THE SPIRIT OF ADVENTURE GUIDE US #POPPIN BOTTLES IN THA ICE LIKE A BLIZZARD #WERE HOT N DANGEROUS LING! #and ling is like no greed we aren’t going the right way let me turn on the GPS #and al is worrying and trying to give directional guidance from the back but ling and greed are ignoring him #if greed and ling would stop being idiots and listen to him (al) then they would have gotten to ed and winry’s like a day ago #and may is like trying to comfort al #and fu sleeps through the entire debacle because he doesn’t need this #they get really lost btw #like they have to ask a million gas station attendants for directions #and they all give them different advice #its a really unfortunate road trip #they make a stop at the large ball of twine #because all roadtrip AUs of mine must have the giant ball of twine #roadtrip AUs are my favorite
They keep having to stay at really seedy hotels along the way and crashing there for a night, cramming everyone into one room even though the motel’s rules are four people, tops. Fu and Lanfan have to use their ninja skills to sneak people in past the front desk, and they all wind up watching Law and Order reruns on TNT because nobody can sleep on account of the beds are literally slabs of cement covered in blankets. Ling finally falls asleep on Lanfan’s left shoulder, and not to be outdone, Greed falls asleep on her lap, and Lanfan is paralyzed by lust for the remainder of the night.